Eloquence Lost

I consider myself an erudite and eloquent man.

Despite the disadvantages created by my Sith Efrican accent - "Milk" = "Mulk", "Skeletal" = "Skuh-LEE-tal" and so on - I think my command of the English language is above average. (Which was confirmed by comments made to me by various high school English teachers, comments akin to "Your vocabulary is strong, I just wish you would do your fucking homework!" Note that I may be paraphrasing here…)

In addition, if you put stock in the theories of my man Ziggy Freud, I am without a doubt an oral personality: I talk when I'm happy, I talk when I'm nervous, I like to eat basically all the time, my sexual preferences are... Best discussed elsewhere. The only thing I don't do is chain-smoke.

On top of that, if you put any stock in astrology, my mouth is a loaded weapon. I was born in early December, and three of my six major astrological signs are Sagittarius. Plus my moon is in Pisces. Triple Sag + Pisces = A LOT of talking.

I never use 2 words when 20 will do. One of my favourite quotes is from author and fellow Sagittarius Frederik Pohl: "I can't write 500-word stories. It takes me 500 words to answer the telephone."

I do talk lots. And I talk good. Is what I'm saying.

However, nothing scrambles the speech centres of my brain like a lack of sleep. And when your youngest son goes on a two-hour bender in the wee hours of the morning leaving you little time to catch up on sleep before your oldest son wakes up and demands to be entertained, a lack of sleep is, at best, a very polite way of describing what you are enduring.

As a result, much of my syntax this morning is garbled beyond belief. I have used the phrase "is do correlated" and I forgot what a toaster is called. Talking is a herculean task. It's horrible, it's like Michael Schumacher forgetting which pedal makes the loud noise and which one keeps you from dying.

(Some of the more philosophically-minded amongst you might be thinking that I should maybe use this as an opportunity to listen more. That is a noble sentiment. But I ask you to kindly take said sentiment, turn it sideways and place it where the sun doesn't shine. Listening is for those who are less cynical than I)

So, to summarise the above deluge of words: I miss being able to talk at my usual level. It's my only super power.